The Duchess and the Dominatrix: April

DutchessDominatrixI’m graduating soon, but I have a crush on an underclassman. Should I go for it?
—Waffling Wendy

At this point in the year, you have at most seven weeks before you leave Olin. That does not mean you cannot start a new relationship, but it does mean you need to go into any potential relationship being very honest and clear about what happens after you graduate. Is this a short fling? Would you try to keep it going long-distance? Discuss those issues with your crush and decide together whether to go for it or keep it merely friendly.
—Duchess of Deportment

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The Duchess and the Dominatrix: March

DutchessDominatrixI’m smitten with my UOCD teammate. What should I do?
—Senseless Sophomore

Go for it! Team projects can stress relationships, which is why you’re asked to silver-bullet your current significant other during the team-selection process. But in this case there’s no risk of ruining an existing relationship, only the opportunity to begin a new one.
—Duchess of Deportment

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The Duchess and the Dominatrix: February

DutchessDominatrixI was recently in a relationship where we minimized disagreement to avoid conflict. Then things blew up. How much disagreement is healthy?
—Passive Pamela

How much disagreement is healthy? How much disagreement can you resolve? I know some couples who have disagreements all the time but they are able to talk to each other and work it out.
It sounds like what you need to do is be more honest with your partner and yourself about things when they bother you instead of just brushing it off and then blowing up later. I am a firm believer in safewords and although this is not really the traditional use, a safeword can be useful in this situation.
If something is bothering you, use your safeword, stop what you are doing, take the time to talk about what is bothering you, and get it resolved.
—Captain Dominatrix

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The Duchess and the Dominatrix: December

DutchessDominatrixI’m really stressed out by the end of the semester! How can I get my work done but not feel terrible all the time?
— Frazzled Fran

Sometimes it is helpful to work in a group of people to have people you are accountable to. Agree on a few breaks at specific times in advance and if you or your friends get off task before it’s time for a break, slap each other in the face. It can be helpful to do a few practice slaps beforehand so you know how hard to hit.
—Captain Dominatrix

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The Duchess and the Dominatrix: November

DutchessDominatrixTop: published in the printed publication.
Scroll down to the lower section to see more questions and more answers!

I have a crush on a guy. […] I have always handled these by admiring said guy as much as I can without drawing suspicion […] but never saying anything. However I have come to think that perhaps I should do something more–but what?
— Clueless Claudette

At some point, you are going to have to decide if you want to continue your friendship with this person as it is, or if you want to pursue a romantic relationship and possibly lose him as a friend. If you want to take things in a more romantic direction, START “DRAWING SUSPICION!” It’s not fair to drop a bomb like that on anyone and it’s not fair to either of you to maintain this sham of a friendship while you actually want something different than what you are projecting.
—Captain Dominatrix

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