Drunk Horoscopes

-Oliver (none of the above)

-Kate (all of the above)

-Jadelin (your pronouns are become mine)

-Audrey (you know)

-Reuben (yes)

-Clark (you know em/you love em)

-Anna (she/her but I don’t think we’re actually writing our pronouns on here)

-Beli (I use she/her but I guess you can use dumb and dumber)

Capricorn – You are made out of snakes. All snakes are you. There are so many snakes inside of you. You should not think about this too much. sssssssssssssssssssssssss

Aquarius – You should send spreadsheet poetry to your crush. They will appreciate the data and your formulas. And the plots. The more plots the better: plots are the purest form of love.

Taurus – Eat a delicious ham that has been unearthed from parcel B. Burrow into the ground, you will find what you are looking for. After a thousand years of waiting, now is your chance.

Virgo – Don’t do crypto currency. Do cryptocurrency if you are snorting it with your nose. Or with your elbow. Don’t even think about that, just focus on the sweet sweet smell of cryptocurrency entering your nasal passages.

Aemini – Ask Chris Lee to slow down. Slow down like a slug running from a speeding train. Slither on the train tracks. MechSolids and dynamics are hard but they don’t have to be that hard. Solids can be soft and slimy like your slug self.

Libra – Don’t date people. Go out into the woods on a rainy night and look for frogs. Befriend french frogs. Just don’t be French. Don’t french kiss the frogs, you might get chytrid.

Pieces – Don’t spray perfume. don’t spray any aeroilized or pressurized things unless you are in the LPB paint bay. With the fume extractor on. Just don’t use the damper because it was never connected in the first place. Open the bay doors instead.

Cancer – It’s can crabssoint day. You should venmo @oilver $0.15 please help us bully Oliver it will be funny I swear

Cancer – Once in a while you are a green sour skittle. But sometimes you are the sexy m&m. Consider dissolving skittles in vodka if you like your vodka tasting like skittles

Scorpio – You are bioluminescent, you just haven’t noticed yet. Spend more time in the dark or the bio lab. If you have questions, talk to Jean. Shine bright like a diamond babey!! ;) :diamond_emoji:

Aries – Learn to weld. Snow IS a weldable material. Build a fantastic igloo. Think about the possibilities – you could weld anything if you put your mind to it. You could weld a snow table. You could weld a bird bath. You could even weld a SAE clean snowmobile.

Leo – By the time you graduate Olin you will have become a solar house. We know it is your fault that the mac gets so hot during the day. Maybe chill out a little bit. Maybe install blinds. But remember to wear safety glasses.

Sagittarius – Set something on fire this month. Commit arson. Burn down the tent in the O. You won’t do it. You coward. Maybe light a candle then I guess. It’s not the same but you can pretend that it is.

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