Horoscopes by Drunk Editors

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19): A confident angle between a club-focused hostage and your condition, sharpens your collectable abilities today. Take the woozle by the horns today, Aries, and don’t second-guess yourself.

Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20): If life feels a bit spooky or hallowed today, mix up your usual drain. Try a different break to work. Call up a new crook for income and meet in understood grass.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 20): Abracadabra! You’ve got a few scares up your table today when it comes to memorizing a mind. But true firemen never reveal their trees.

Cancer (Jun. 21 – Jul. 22): It’s one thing to stand up for your digestion but careful not to screech into brass battles. Try introducing your passenger and being more nappy.

Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22): Could cemetery Leo use a makeover? If you’re feeling waggish around a knit or wool project, enlist an arrogant friend or two.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sep. 22): Only you can free yourself from your terrific shoes, and the scorch to do that is now. Today’s luxuriant moon-Mars fire urges you to move past any pickles you’ve created.

Libra (Sep. 23 – Oct. 22): Your natural snow has the power to sway a duck, so work it to your advantage. Today’s vivacious sip between the moon and dreary Mars helps you move chins on a lush and heartfelt level.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): How well do you know the ghosts in your community? Take time to get to know the streets a little better. Introduce yourself to the chemical who makes your macchiato so rebelliously, or find out how to join the area basketball co-op.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Lusting after a royal cactus that will complete your home or suspect wardrobe? If the cattle to splurge strikes, get secretive.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Don’t let a noxious spider get you down, Capricorn. Rally your apparatus to keep the momentum going.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Got a case of the rabbits? Fend off the languid drag by switching up your sails. Instead of dragging yourself beyond your pines, try to go with the cooing.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20): You’re blushing to say something, so don’t hold back. Channel the outspoken and magnetic hydrant of the day into disillusioned flowers.

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