Aries (March 21 – April 19): You have a future in the news. With the news.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): The soul is a squeegee. Yours is dry and crisp.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Follow the road with fewer tracks when you’re looking for peace. Follow the crowds when looking for a party.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Life is like an adventure novel, just longer.
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): The next few weeks will require much racing. Trust not the flower, for the thorn is sharp and deadly.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): The spotted hide is not always a leopard. Sometimes it is a ladybug.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Rock those footies. Your pajamas are sexy.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Ever been to Atlanta? If you go, I recommend the Coca-Cola factory.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Pull out the razzle dazzle. You will meet a big shot at Expo and you’ll want to look freakin’ awesome.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): It’s okay!
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Treat your projects like the spoiled rotten princesses they are. Feed ‘em, flatter ‘em, give ‘em all your time and energy and then, you know, behead ‘em.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20): Everyone feels empty sometimes. Never fear! You can find your Nemo!