Escaping the Bubble

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Hi friends! Do you not have a car? Do you struggle to convince your friends to get into Boston consistently? Do you hate Uber? Well worry not. As a senior, it’s my duty to tell you all about how to get off campus for cheap. These will primarily focus on getting into Boston, but most will get you to other places as well!

  • MWRTA Route 1 Bus – This bus runs 7 days a week and is free to ride! There’s a stop in Babson’s Knight Parking Lot that will take you to the Woodland Hills Green Line stop. It also goes to the Natick Mall and runs 5AM-9PM on weekdays and 8AM-5PM on weekends. You can find the schedule online.
  • Catch Connect – The Catch Connect is a shuttle that runs 7 days a week and will take you anywhere that’s local, including Trader Joe’s, the Woodland Hills Greenline stop, Commuter Rail stops, and more! It is also completely free to ride! It typically runs from 7AM-9PM on weekends, and 8AM-6PM on weekends (new this year!). You need to get the Catch App in order to call the Catch Connect.
  • Commuter Rails – The Commuter Rails are typically more expensive than the T ($7 vs. $2.40), but are faster and will take you directly into Boston. The best options are to bike to either the Wellesley Hills stop or the Needham Heights stop (or walk if you’re scared of biking like me). The Commuter Rail is typically open later than the two options above – you can find their schedules online.
  • The Senate Bus – This bus only runs Fridays and weekends, but it is much more convenient than the other options for getting into Boston. You can take the Senate Bus from Wellesley to Cambridge roundtrip for only $3 (cash only). Look up the Senate Bus schedule on Wellesley’s website. 
  • The Babson Shuttle Bus – This bus only runs Friday and Saturday afternoon/night. It goes from the Trim Lot directly to the Prudential Center and the Boston Common. It’s completely FREE, although it is technically for Babson students, so you need a one card (they’re checking this semester). The schedule can be found on the @babsonsga Instagram page.

Driving or Ubering to Eliot is always an option, but if you find yourself lacking in ways to get off-campus, hopefully this will help you get off Olin for cheap (or even free!). There are always plenty of things to do in Boston, but I enjoy doing work at the Boston Public Library, or walking around the Common and Cambridge when it’s nicer outside. It’s always a good idea to check if any interesting events are happening too! I’ve taken free dance classes at the Public Library, and use Joyraft (an app) to see if anything interesting is happening, including food festivals and vintage markets. Olin is awesome, but I encourage everyone to get out once in a while!

The Black Experience At Olin: One Year Review

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Last February I made the difficult choice to share my pain and struggle with the Olin community through a Frankly Speaking article. While many people have seen the pain I’ve gone through for my writing, I am proud of my choice and proud that I continue to write and call attention to disgraceful behavior at my school.

After my first article, I was connected with other black Oliners who finally felt seen after all their time here. I have received emails from alumni thanking me for highlighting the racist shit they went through that no one would talk about. But there have been downsides—it is almost impossible for me to find people to team with me (‘cause who wants to work with the radical black girl?) Clubs at Olin now feel they can use me as their token black activist to “fix” their racism for them. 

Yet I still write, and I will continue writing this column until I graduate or Olin truly improves. Why do I do this despite the intense harm it does to my mental health and student career? 

Because I care about Olin.

This same thing happened in high school, but I never said anything because I saw that place as a stepping stone to greater things. I never said anything at past camps or jobs because those were temporary, and I didn’t like them that much anyway.

I love Olin. I love the professors who enjoy teaching and put so much care and effort into ensuring their students truly learn. I love the students who are endless bundles of intelligence, ingenuity, and creativity that give me hope for the future. I love the staff, from the shop assistants who never get mad at me for repeatedly needing help turning on machines, to the dining hall staff who smile at every student they see. I love the beautiful library where I always feel a sense of belonging due in large part to our kind and hardworking librarians. I love the project teams and the clubs and more. 

Because I love Olin, I will not allow it to be tarnished with prejudice and hate; for racist behaviors to fall through the cracks until they become truly engraved in the beliefs of this community. Olin was founded on the idea of “engineering for everyone,” and while we struggle to properly practice our promise, we can make sure that engineers with dark skin are included as respected and protected members of that “everyone.” So Oliners, you can avoid, hate me, call me hysterical, or choose to not believe me, but I am going to keep sharing stories, keep highlighting facts, and work to make Olin a better environment for all black people here, because I care. 

Ivy Reviews Olin Library Books #3

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Fiction: A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine, 2019

Ambassador Mahit Dzmare of the independent artificial planet Lsel Station has been summoned to the heart of the Teixcalaan Empire. Her predecessor Yskander is dead, her mission is sabotaged, and the Empire is on the brink of a succession crisis. Armed only with a 15-year-old copy of Yskander’s personality implanted in her brain, as well as a lifelong adoration for Teixcalaanli culture and language, Mahit must convince Teixcalaan’s upper echelons—including the Emperor himself—that Lsel Station is more valuable as an ally than an annexation. By presenting readers with an unflinchingly intimate view of Teixcalaan through an outsider’s eyes, author Arkady Martine explores the pain of falling in love with the culture that’s devouring your own.

 In the Teixcalaanli language, the word for “city”, “empire”, and “civilization” are all the same. The language reflects the Teixcalaanlitzlim’s all-encompassing worldview: to be Teixcalaanli, and to be in the Empire, is to be a part of civilization. As a Stationer, Mahit is casually referred to as a “barbarian”. The novel’s Teixcalaanlitzlim characters aren’t overtly xenophobic, yet their linguistic and cultural assumption of superiority permeates every exchange that Mahit has. Similarly, in our own society, white individuals frequently perpetuate cultural racism through constant, implicit assertions of white supremacy in everyday life. By choosing to demonstrate Teixcalaanli exceptionalism as an ever-present shadow rather than one-off instances of cartoonish discrimination (as many sci-fi stories choose to do), Martine creates a rich and accurate depiction of how empires build national supremacy into their cultures.

To make matters worse for Mahit, her imago-machine—the brain implant that allows her to access Yskander’s out-of-date memories—is damaged. Instead of full communication with Yskander, Mahit only gets occasional flashes of his past emotions. On Lsel Station, every individual receives an imago-machine, which connects them to a storied history of prior Stationers’ personalities, skills, and experiences. By losing her connection to Yskander, Mahit is literally severed from Stationer culture and identity. Already surrounded by Teixcalaanli exceptionalism, Mahit’s loneliness reflects the real-world isolationism of individuals who are forced to conform to the culture of an empire that does not want them.

Martine does not use the word empire lightly—in fact, she holds a PHD in the topic: her dissertation discussed Byzantine agents operating in the Empire’s borderlands. Her expertise is what sets this novel apart from other space operas, which often utilize an off-the-shelf galactic federation, evil empire, or corporation to menacingly loom over the plot without actually introducing any nuance to the story. Martine does not absolve her empire of its sins; instead, she is honest about its contradictions. Teixcalaan’s power is both awe-inspiring and terrifying; its culture is both beautiful and encroaching. Similarly, nationalist isolationism lurks below Lsel Station’s fight for independence, and undercuts the efforts of Mahit and others to stabilize diplomatic relations. This sentiment too is realistic to real-world efforts to stave off cultural devouring—territories located near empires like the Byzantine Empire, America, and others fight bitterly to keep their local traditions alive, even at the cost of greater political stability.

At its core, A Memory Called Empire is a story with no villains. Martine demonstrates masterful worldbuilding by forcing the reader to view the story through both Teixcalaanli and Stationer perspectives, including how they view each other and themselves. Teixcalaan’s history of conquest is inseparable from its rich culture of storytelling, and the Teixcalaanlitzlim themselves are unable to separate their identity from the concept of culture itself. Lsel Station, on the other hand, is fiercely protective of its independent thought—from underground comic books that compete with Teixcalaan literature in Lsel’s popular culture, to the carefully guarded imago-technology that could lead to annexation if revealed to the Empire. As a result, a novel masquerading a spacefaring political intrigue reveals fascinating dialogue surrounding cultural exchange, assimilation, and national identity.

Who Are the PAs?

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The PAs, or the Peer Advocates for Sexual Respect, aim to have a diverse set of student volunteers who are committed to being a support network for other students struggling with sexual misconduct, having a healthy relationship, or for students who are concerned for others. 

For some brief history, the PAs began as an AHS Capstone in 2014. Motivation to start the PAs stemmed the climate survey and Frankly Speaking article from 2013 that confirmed that sexual assault does happen at Olin and affects the same percentage of students as other colleges around the country.

The PA program is here to advocate for and work towards making Olin a place where people feel safe and respected. As a completely independent, student-led group, we aim to be a resource and response to the evolving situation of sexual respect at Olin.

We also recognize that it can be very tough to approach anyone with personal and sensitive issues so we hope to connect with the community and break the social barriers when it comes to topics like consent, sexual health, and relationships as a whole. Be on the lookout for PA Jeopardy, “It Happens Here”, and PA Wellness events, and community wide Trainings!

Thank you, Olin

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My time at Olin has been overshadowed by conflict with my parents. At first, it was manageable. I could ignore them. I could fake and tolerate them during the infrequent calls. But with each month, things got worse. A new demand. A new threat. A new ultimatum. As they pushed harder, I grew increasingly distant from them. Eventually, the only thing keeping me in their orbit was money—money to pay for Olin. I finally broke this summer when they pulled that string and used the money as a weapon against me. I felt the floor rip from beneath me. I lost hope in reconciliation when I sent a letter explaining my needs, and their only response was, “You have a severe anxiety condition.” This semester, they became more erratic and more delusional. When my mental health struggles took on physical manifestations, I knew I could not sustain this relationship any longer. Having fully lost hope, I finally estranged myself from my parents. No more communication. No more returning home. No more money.

With no other way to pay for the full cost of attendance, I turned to Olin financial aid. With a letter from my therapist and a 5,000-word document detailing my parents’ emotional abuse and my resultant mental health struggles, I was hopeful things would turn out all right. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Three weeks ago, I was denied my FAFSA Dependency Override request by Olin’s Financial Aid Administrator. In a conversation with said administrator, they recommended that I learn to cope or try communicating with my parents, despite my written and verbal explanations as to why this was not feasible for my mental health. (Please read into FAFSA Unusual Circumstances and FAFSA Professional Judgement—you’ll find there is no way to appeal.) To put the nail in the coffin, I was told earlier that becoming self-supporting was insufficient to justify a new Dependency Override decision for later semesters. Thus, because I cannot bear to take on $150,000 of debt, I find myself unable to afford the remainder of my Olin education. I have been in a scramble to get a job, a car, and housing, and Engineering for Everyone feels so far away.

As I have been preparing for my departure from Olin, I have come to appreciate all the great things about this community that I will soon miss. I’ll miss playing Blood on the Clocktower and Coup on weekends. I’ll miss being Olin’s leading Egyptian War (Egyptian Rat Slap, ERS) player. I’ll miss all the good times playing table tennis. I’ll miss the pool room. Soccer. The wild conversations and napkin drawings in the dining hall. Causing a spectacle with a fork and knife. Being that crazy Californian still in shorts and flip-flops. Spectating Spoon Assassins. Volunteering at Candidates’ Weekend. 30-Second Videos. All the emails. The acronyms. The drama. Joking about Olin infrastructure while living in it. Collectively suffering with Olin courses. Being in the shop. Fixing up the Baja car in the LPB. Welding. Walking through the O at night. The busy weekends and late nights working on projects. I’ll miss having a shoulder to lean on. I’ll miss this community. Being surrounded by so many genuinely good people has truly changed me for the better. To those I have worked with, hung out with, suffered with, had crazy conversations with, I’m so grateful to have known you. I’ll never forget my time here at Olin and this community which has served me so well. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being with me.

All the best,

Austin “live free or die” Strahm

So, I Transferred to UMass

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In fall 2021, I entered Olin College of Engineering as a member of the class of 2025. I studied there for six semesters, and was miserable for all of them. However, this article is not a rant about why Olin was a poor fit for me and why I left; that would be irrelevant and unhealthy for me to recount. No, it’s about my experiences transferring out of it. Many people I talked to while attending (both inside and outside of Olin) believed it wouldn’t be worth leaving because Olin’s unconventional curriculum wouldn’t transfer well, and college credits don’t come without a large financial and time investment. My response: look up “sunk cost fallacy”.

There are plenty of valid academic and non-academic reasons to transfer colleges. This is also not about that; you know you best. If you want to transfer, you are valid :)

I originally wrote this article back in May, working minimum wage during a gap year. I now attend UMass Amherst, survived midterms, am out of the closet (at UMass, family pending), have a great group of friends, and am probably happier than I have ever been since I can remember.

That’s what this article is for, to let people know it is possible. If this article was published during my first or second year at Olin, I would have started the transfer application process immediately.

Transfer Credit

You will lose some time, but nowhere near as much as I originally thought.

I mainly applied to engineering programs in Massachusetts, and can only share the experience about the schools that accepted me. You receive a credit evaluation after acceptance; most schools send an evaluation in a timely fashion, other schools are Northeastern University…

Some things to keep in mind about transfer credits:

  • Some schools have a minimum credit requirement to accept a course: “Insufficient credit earned, must be 3 credits or more”. This is a problem since many Olin courses show up as two two-credit courses on your transcript.
  • Some schools accept the majority of your courses, but don’t map them to specific major requirements. You will have to put in time with your advisor, and some schools make it easier than others; unfortunately, meeting with an advisor is often behind your deposit. At larger schools, credits may have to be evaluated by different departments, which becomes a pain.
  • Download all of your syllabi from Canvas; they will ask for them. If you take a gap year like I did, your olin.edu email will be disabled, and anything behind Microsoft Single Sign On will lock you out. Then you end up awkwardly emailing all your professors and learning that external emails find their way to their junk boxes… shout out to Brad, Carrie, and Steve for responding and making me aware of this issue. You can also ask students you took classes with for the syllabus, which was extremely helpful.

Don’t forget about college credits from high school: Community College, AP exams, programs like PLTW, etc.

One reason I transferred was to have a wider selection of general education and humanities courses. You want to cherish your general education courses, not waste them on two semesters of college writing. If you don’t have AP, look up CLEP College Composition; this can free up time for more interesting general education, or for electives that might interest you.

UMass Specifically

A major reason I chose UMass was due to how accommodating they have been in supporting transfer students. The Electrical and Computer Engineering department has been especially supportive in this regard, and has been willing to hear me out on all my Olin courses for credit mappings. They have several programs and housing options specific to transfer students, and have ultimately made the experience pleasant. Not every department is like this—more on that later.

My advisor here initially gave me an estimate of 1.5 years, the same amount of time I had left at Olin. I opted for 2 years at UMass since I prefer to keep the credit load lighter and touch grass.

You will need to advocate for yourself, even in a supportive department. I am not good at that. I did end up taking an engineering math course that covers similar content to QEA3 and ESA. Perhaps I could have talked my way into getting credit for that.

You will end up with some goofy-looking schedules transferring from Olin. Next semester, I have Junior Design Project, a statistics course meant for sophomores, a graduate-level operating system course, an undetermined general education course, and possibly freshman physics. I still have no idea if I have credit for Physics 1&2 or not (they have the syllabi for QEA1-3, ModSim, and ISIM). The Physics department has not been easy to work with on this, unlike the college of engineering.

I don’t want to talk too much about money in this article. TLDR: most private institutions will cost more than Olin (assuming the 50% scholarship is still a thing). However, I am now an in-state student at a public university, so it is a lot more affordable in the end (even considering the extra time I am taking).

I would have preferred an urban campus, but I love everything else about UMass so far. You have to make compromises in life.

So you want to transfer

Okay so you’re considering transferring. Here’s some advice that you can’t just google.

  • Many schools (particularly private institutions) look for 1-2 years of college, and will openly say they will reject transfer students with 3+ years unless they are truly exceptional. Also, if you’re unhappy, don’t wait 3 years like I did; stop sinking more time into something that isn’t working for you.
  • I already said it, but download important records that are behind Microsoft Single Sign On. Your email will be disabled if you take a gap year.
  • Olin has a letter explaining what some of their courses cover and how it maps to a more conventional curriculum. You can add it as an additional document upload in your transfer applications. This is also helpful for credit evaluations. (I still haven’t heard back from Physics yet though…)
  • Visit campuses. I applied to college during peak `rona, and online “tours” really did not influence my top choices. It actually helps to have a sense of the neighborhood (or lack thereof), and how alive the campus feels. Admittedly, this may be irrelevant to the current generation of students who actually got to take tours.

Editors note: If you would like to get in touch with the author of this piece, please contact the Frankly Speaking team.

Best Black-ish Episodes to Watch to Learn How to not be Racist

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Hi everyone! It’s me again, but don’t worry—this article is a fun one! Ever heard of Black-ish? If you have, give yourselves a pat on the back, if not, I’ll explain: Black-ish was an 2010s ABC sitcom about an upper-class black family, the Johnsons, who work to hold onto their roots while living in a suburban white neighborhood. There is Dre, a Compton-born successful advertising executive obsessed with ensuring his affluent family maintains a strong cultural Black identity, and his wife Rainbow, a pragmatic biracial doctor who balances her family’s cultural identity struggles. Then there are their 5 children, fashionable eldest daughter Zoey, the nerdy eldest son Junior, the twins: the cunning cynical Diane and goofy upbeat Jack, and baby Devante. Don’t forget about Dre’s parents, Pops and Ruby, providing insight from an older generation and flashbacks to their 70s misadventures. Black-ish highlights the struggles of being black in America with raw honesty, ranging from issues of rude coworkers to police brutality. If you don’t know where to start, here is my top 20 Black-ish episodes you should watch and why: 

  1. The Pilot (Season 1, Episode 1): I always believe you should start with the pilot. It lays out the groundwork and logic of the show very well and gives a great intro to the Johnson family dynamics.
  2. Switch Hitting (Season 1, Episode 20): A wonderful look into “code switching”, a common practice where black people act differently when in white spaces than in black spaces to avoid discrimination. Guest-starring the hilarious Michael Rapaport, you don’t want to miss this.
  3. Please Don’t Ask, Please Don’t Tell (Season 1, Episode 22): When Dre’s closeted sister visits, drama follows. This is a relatable episode for anyone who has struggled with being fully out with family. Especially since black people are frequently excluded from queer communities, even here at Olin. 
  4. The WORD (Season 2, Episode 1): This episode is a great follow up to last month’s article, examining the use of the N-word in an upbeat and comedic way to ease the discomfort of a complex subject using sitcom PTA drama, what fun!
  5. Sink or Swim (Season 2, Episode 14): Whether it is Dre fighting the stereotype that black people can swim, the twins fighting the stereotypes of Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, or Rainbow fighting working mom stereotypes, the whole Johnson family does their part to prove their haters wrong! 
  6. Hope (Season 2, Episode 16): Hey, remember that time when an unarmed black person was shot by a cop, and the cop received no punishment for his crime? You know, that thing that happens on average 200 times a year. This episode examines the acquittal of one of those shootings and how the Johnson family teaches their youngest children about the dangers of being black in America.
  7. Being Bow-racial (Season 3, Episode 8): This episode expands on Rainbow’s own internal struggles as a biracial black woman, going back to her childhood as she learned to find a way to embrace being a black without losing part of herself, leading to the spin off series: Mixed-ish.
  8. One Angry Man (Season 3, Episode 16): This episode examines a young black man on trial and Dre, juror #8, takes it upon himself to save the young man from a false conviction, effortlessly combining a classic sitcom plot with lessons on racial discrimination in legal proceedings.
  9. Juneteeth (Season 4, Episode 1): Before Juneteeth became a national holiday, black families across the country celebrated it. With a full-on Hamilton style musical number, guest-starring Grammy-nominated singers, Black-ish shared the history and message of this important holiday across the nation. 
  10. Advance to Go, Collect $200 (Season 4, Episode 4): One of my favorite episodes, the whole Johnson family getting together to play a game of Monopoly, and like any family game night, it gets messy. There is jealousy, betrayal, greed, and destruction, all in 25 minutes! What’s not to love?
  11. Please Baby, Please (Season 4, Episode 24): In only 25 minutes, the Johnson examines the impact of Trump’s first presidency, the rise of gun violence, reemergence of white supremacy, and climate change all in the form of a bedtime story to baby Devante. 
  12. Gap Year (Season 5, Episode 1): Did you or someone you know want to take a gap year and parents disagreed? Well, the same thing happens to Junior in this episode when he decides to take his own gap year! A teenage boy is just trying to convince his parents to let him have a gap year while the parents treat it like an incoming apocalypse. 
  13. Black Like Us (Season 5, Episode 10): Colorism is a form of racism that is never talked about enough in the black community. In a black family of different shades, it unleashes tough revelations over unseen struggles done in the family’s own home. Johnson’s discussion of colorism is an honest portrayal of it and a reminder that even black people contribute to toxic racist cultures.
  14. justakidfromcompton (Season 5, Episode 15): When the family tries to get Dre’s cousin Kyra into a prestigious prep school, the school administrators view Kyra as a “charity case”, rather than a deserving student, highlighting the condescending nature of performative inclusion. It’s a great examination of the “savior complex” and what it means to truly provide a fair chance.
  15. Feminisn’t (Season 6, Episode 4): Did you know the Seneca Falls Convention did not allow black women to enter the event? Black women were also not welcomed to participate in the 1913 Women’s March, and not allowed to be members of NAWSA. Feminism has always excluded women of color, so Rainbow assembles some of her girlfriends to show the viewers what black feminism looks like.
  16. Hair Day (Season 6, Episode 11): Hair has huge cultural meaning to black communities, which this episode just scratches the surface of. Breaking the show’s traditional format with segments featuring real Black women, a musical number, and an animated sequence to cover the history, politics, and labor involved in various Black hairstyles.
  17. Election Special Part 1 (Season 7, Episode 1): When Junior can’t register to vote, he goes on an internet deep dive with help from his family to discover why he was denied his American right. From children’s books to gameshows, this episode uses different kinds of media to unearth the truth of voting in a style every viewer can understand. 
  18. Election Special Part 2 (Season 7, Episode 2): It’s election season and Dre’s rich boss decides to run for congress and guess what, so does Dre! With a fun cameo from Stacy Abrams, this special fully animated episode does a fun parody of election season. 
  19. What About Gary (Season 7, Episode 10): Dre takes Rainbow’s white cousin Gary under his wing to teach him how to be a proper Black Lives Matter Activist, but Gary resists. I praise this episode for highlighting how resistant white people are to real self-improvement if it requires them acknowledging or losing their privilege. 
  20. That’s What Friends Are For (Season 8, Episode 1): Michelle Obama comes over for dinner! That’s the whole storyline, but it’s MICHELLE OBAMA! Do I need to say more?

Black-ish is available for free on Hulu and Disney+! Happy Streaming!

In Memoriam of Iris Tang

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Various works by Iris Tang

From the Official Obituary of Iris Shanyue Tang

Iris Shanyue Tang, a graduate of Lakeside School in Seattle, WA, and most recently a student at Olin College of Engineering in Needham, MA, working on her Bachelor of Science, passed away suddenly on Nov 22, 2025. She was 18.

Iris was sharp, quiet, and considerate. She loved math – she was a two-time Math Prize for Girls Qualifier (2023 & 2024), four-time AIME qualifier (2021 – 2024). She also taught elementary schoolers competition math on the weekends in Northwest Chinese School, Bellevue WA.

Iris excelled in academia beyond math. She got the Best Solution Award in North American Computational Linguistics Open Competition (2023) and was also a National Merit Scholarship Finalist (2025), and a U.S. Presidential Scholar Candidate (2025).

If you want to leave a kind message, please visit Iris’s Memorial Page.

Crossword: December 2025

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Answers

speaking
nord
bodaborg
break
september
mud
cheese
musical
shopper
soup
unicycles
skeleton
matlav
parcelbees

frankly ________
best nap location
gone questing
johnny’s
21st night of
shop cave dweller
______ tasting cocurricular
the guy who didn’t like ________
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! no it’s just my ______
____ season
you can find about 27 of these in the ball room
stanley the ________
matcha acronym beverage
buzz buzz

The Hunger Artist: Olin Edition

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I recently read a story by Franz Kafka called “The Hunger Artist.” The titular character—the hunger artist himself—goes from town to town, locks himself in a cage, and stops eating. People come from miles away to see the man in all his bony glory. After a few weeks of starvation, to much fanfare and massive crowds, the hunger artist emerges from his cage and breaks his fast. Every time, he protests: he could do more! However, his publicist has determined that general interest declines after several weeks of the artist starving himself. When interest drops, he must eat.

As time goes on, hunger artists fall out of fashion; the only place that will take the artist is the zoo. The hunger artist, initially insulted, quickly sees the appeal of his new position—he is no longer being forced to eat every few weeks, so he can begin his greatest-ever fast. 

 In the final words of the story, the artist is discovered, weak and emaciated, by a zoo worker. The man asks the artist why he continues to fast, and the hunger artist responds: “Because I have to fast, I can’t help it… I couldn’t find the food I liked. If I had found it, believe me, I would have made no fuss and stuffed myself like you or anyone else.”* 

And then he dies. The zoo replaces him with a big cat.

Franz Kafka died of tuberculosis at the age of 40. In his will, he instructed his friend to burn all but six of his works—the Hunger Artist was one of the six to be preserved. Why did Kafka elevate the Hunger Artist to be among the six? What about the story made him recognize its compelling power?

I read the story while eating lunch at work over the summer. It was July, an especially busy stretch where I’d spend twelve or thirteen hours at work, then go home, shower, prepare food, sleep, and repeat the next day. I did that for the full month, with an occasional break day sprinkled in to avoid a nervous breakdown. 

Why did I do it? The overtime was nice, but I didn’t need the money. I told myself I wanted the experience, but any dimwit could see how that much time at work wasn’t going to lead to any actual learning. In reality, I kept working for the same reason the hunger artist kept fasting—I didn’t know how to do anything different. 

Kafka’s hunger artist fasts because he doesn’t know how to stop.

Like many Oliners, I like to push myself. I dive into whatever I’m focusing on at the moment—the joy of figuring out a challenging problem or developing a new skill feels addictive.

This trait is powerful, and it can also become a problem. While enjoying the last few days of sunshine on the O a few weeks ago, I ended up chatting with a friend about Olin’s work culture. While reflecting, she remarked: “I can’t slow down. I want to, but I just can’t… if I did, then I would have to think, and I really don’t like doing that.” Many Oliners share this sentiment, whether they realize it or not. Like the hunger artist, we push ourselves over the brink from pleasurable challenge into self-defeating masochism, not because we want to, but because it is the only thing we know how to do.

This past summer wasn’t my first time making this mistake. In my junior year of high school, I took every advanced placement and honors class I could fit into my schedule while also studying for the SAT, leading my robotics team, helping run the Model UN club, and working at my part-time job. Why? Because I could—I figured I’d challenge myself. 

That year, I steadily sank into depression. I went through the motions, got the grades, and outwardly didn’t present as though anything were wrong. But I wasn’t feeling any joy anymore—my classes weren’t interesting to me, and the only thing that made me feel happy was working out for the hour or two I’d do it each day. When I finally went to my school counselor for help, she seemed surprised, fumbling around with a bunch of words that summed up to: “Your grades are great and your teachers love you… why are you here?” In my stupor, I felt a faint flicker of amusement.  I was there because I didn’t feel emotions anymore, and I thought that was probably a bad thing. 

I had starved myself for so long that I forgot how to eat. 

I have loved my time at Olin, and yet I still find myself falling into the same trap that I have so many times before: I am doing too much. When I examine the tasks that take up my time—classes, my job, research, the stuff I do for fun—I find each to be relevant and justified; to reach my goals, each component is essential. I have no plans to stop anything anytime soon, and yet at the same time I know that I am doing too much to live a balanced, happy, and sustainable life. 

I am fully aware that I’m overdoing it, and I’m still doing it anyway. 

It might seem like I am writing this article to make a change. That I’m going to fix my work habits, seek more balance in my life, and tell you all to do the same. But I’m not going to. I don’t think that reading this article will inspire any of you to make changes, either—Olin attracts a very specific kind of person who likes to keep adding things to their plate, just as I do. 

Instead, I’ll end with this. Yom Kippur happened a few weeks ago, and like many Jews, I fasted and went to services. It was a beautiful opportunity to reflect, focus my thoughts, and consider the year ahead, surrounded by a community of people doing the same. At the end of the holiday, I broke my fast with some orange juice, feeling the liquid soothe my throat with each swallow. 

There can be joy in fasting, but only if it ends. 

*From the Muir Translation. Can be found online by looking up “Franz Kafka The Hunger Artist Muir Translation” or with link: https://englishiva1011.pbworks.com/f/HUNGERAR.PDF