Rising Sophomore Lured Into A Suite Double Like Odysseus To The Sirens

“Triplessssssss,” hissed the junior, beckoning them towards East Hall

Carpediem Used For Yet Another Survey

I’m going to seize the day by punching the next P&M student I see in the face

“OK. Now for SURE It’s Spring,” Says First Year In A T-Shirt Right Before Getting Hit In The Face With Another Inch And A Half Of Snow

“Olonion’s Half-Assed Name A Shameless, Blatant Attempt To Ride Off The Coattails Of A Respectable, Established Organization”

Writes Spankly Freaking Editor

“Ahhh, What A Nice Break” Says Student Who Did Not Relax At All Over Break

They are now buried in work. Student is me.

Tour Guide Happens To Have 15th Birthday This Month On The Day Of Their Tour

Root Source of Mistrust Within Olin Community Finally Identified

It was those damn IT phishing emails all along

Lost, Confused Student Doesn’t Know What To Go-To Complain About With Dining Hall Being Undeniably Cracked

“What will I have to talk about??” cries Junior as they dip their freshly grilled flank steak into a fine chimichurri sauce