Last February I made the difficult choice to share my pain and struggle with the Olin community through a Frankly Speaking article. While many people have seen the pain I’ve gone through for my writing, I am proud of my choice and proud that I continue to write and call attention to disgraceful behavior at my school.
After my first article, I was connected with other black Oliners who finally felt seen after all their time here. I have received emails from alumni thanking me for highlighting the racist shit they went through that no one would talk about. But there have been downsides—it is almost impossible for me to find people to team with me (‘cause who wants to work with the radical black girl?) Clubs at Olin now feel they can use me as their token black activist to “fix” their racism for them.
Yet I still write, and I will continue writing this column until I graduate or Olin truly improves. Why do I do this despite the intense harm it does to my mental health and student career?
Because I care about Olin.
This same thing happened in high school, but I never said anything because I saw that place as a stepping stone to greater things. I never said anything at past camps or jobs because those were temporary, and I didn’t like them that much anyway.
I love Olin. I love the professors who enjoy teaching and put so much care and effort into ensuring their students truly learn. I love the students who are endless bundles of intelligence, ingenuity, and creativity that give me hope for the future. I love the staff, from the shop assistants who never get mad at me for repeatedly needing help turning on machines, to the dining hall staff who smile at every student they see. I love the beautiful library where I always feel a sense of belonging due in large part to our kind and hardworking librarians. I love the project teams and the clubs and more.
Because I love Olin, I will not allow it to be tarnished with prejudice and hate; for racist behaviors to fall through the cracks until they become truly engraved in the beliefs of this community. Olin was founded on the idea of “engineering for everyone,” and while we struggle to properly practice our promise, we can make sure that engineers with dark skin are included as respected and protected members of that “everyone.” So Oliners, you can avoid, hate me, call me hysterical, or choose to not believe me, but I am going to keep sharing stories, keep highlighting facts, and work to make Olin a better environment for all black people here, because I care.
