California Jones and the Golden Egg

Barreling down at high speed, the intense sound of the dry road making contact with the decently used all-season tires was covered up by the blaring of “Oye Mi Amor” by Mexico’s finest, Maná. California Jones at the wheel, no one could have been better equipped to keep the golden egg safer than him. Some say that he had been trained by the ancient Mayans on what is now the ruins of Chichén Itzá in evasive maneuvers. Others claim to have seen him alongside Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson at the gym, training to be strong enough to fight off any enemies in his pursuit of protection. California Jones has never been in the game for the fame, fortune, or thrill. No, he prefers to know that he was able to protect those who needed his help.

With a quick, yet gentle pull of the wheel, C.J. changed the course he was on, hoping that the advice from the ever reliable compass, “Ways,” that he kept on him was right. It was absolutely vital that every move he made was calculated in advance because any sudden movements could and would damage the egg. Looking in the rear-view mirror, California Jones noticed that not more than 5 car lengths behind approached “The Sickos,” the evil people that seek to infect the golden egg. As his foot applied more force on the accelerator, the engine roared louder, motivating C.J. to carry on as if he had a tiger in the back instead of just the golden egg.

The exit was now in sight. Pointing the beast in the direction, he waited until the very last second to hit the brakes and make a sharp right turn. Though it allowed him to gain some space on “The Sickos,” he had now put the golden egg in jeopardy as it had now moved under the belt buckle and sat unprotected in the backseat. At this moment, C.J.’s training with seal team 6 came into full use as he seemingly managed to get time to stop. Jamming his foot on the gas pedal, he fought the momentum of the vehicle to lunge himself into the backseat and reach for the golden egg. Palming it, California Jones returned to the captain’s seat to navigate them through what seemed like a planned field of obstacles in his way. Weaving in and out of the “traffic” that plagued those small streets, he was able to lose “The Sickos” just in time. 

Approaching the destination, the previously paved, straight road had turned into an uphill battle on rock and dirt. With the egg in one hand, the steering wheel in the other, and all of his effort into propelling the vehicle up the rough terrain; C.J. knew that he would not lose this fight. Though it sounded like the entire animal kingdom was screaming at the top of its’ lungs, he jeered the wheel back and forth, slowly making it up the steep “road.” One last push before the engine was to blow and the vehicle steadied out, no longer being on an incline instead having made it to the top. Here, the palace of Sylmar, was to be the safehouse for the golden egg as predetermined by California Jones. No “Sicko” could ever make it up there. Without a single scratch on it, C.J. handed the golden egg to its caretakers, where they would later watch the first golden bald eagle hatch. Once again, the evermore talented California Jones stunned the world with his determination, loyalty, and skill.

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