“I’m sorry, all. It’s been a long week. I’m not usually this edgy about broccoli and cauliflower.”
[brandishing a P100] “Consider it gently mixed.”
“Be careful. Peach is a gateway cobbler!”
“I want a servant. But not like…a love slave.”
“I have to completely reframe how I work. … I will start by changing my socks.”
“Anyone can be anything, and also racist.”
“Git pull me a sandwich.”
“If I count as animal, a rock should count as an animal… mrow.”
“You need to erase some looks from your face before you can be considered a genuine person.”
[with a look of pure joy and maniacal-ness on his face] “Alright, it might be cocaine…. according to the FTIR machine.”
“Not to be dramatic, but if someone made me eat sushi with a fork, I think I would die.”
“If you want to hack my password, that would be great, but only if you’ll answer my email for me.”
“People don’t only have sex on business days!”
“I’ve been scrambling harder than eggs.”
“There’s nothing more French than lung cancer.”
“What kind of grading system expects you to do ALL the homework?!”
“I am the Magikarp of people.”
“You had me at Yargle.”
[about a truck with its hazards on] “I guess it’s not directional, all his lights are cautious.”
“Hair is such a crutch.”
“I have no idea how paperclips work.”
[pointing at plant] “Now we’re in love.”
“This is a spicy meatball right here.”
“Now I have to party, I guess.”
“Shear is the poor, abused child of the family. After dealing with bending, torsion, and axial stress, I don’t want to take care of this kid anymore. I just want it to sit on the couch and do nothing.”
