Dr. Liu: May Edition

Doctor_LiuDisclaimer: This month’s edition will be more off-color, because, well, the questions I got were more off-color. Ask and you shall receive.

Dear Dr. Liu,
Though my roommate and I both have significant others, sometimes I feel like they get way more action. How can I assuage my bitter jealousy over their sexual antics?
Thanks,
Too-many-of-the-deadly-sins

Dear deadly,
Ooh, there are too many ideas to fit in this column…Here’s some though. 1: Replace lube with icy-hot. 2: Hang up pictures of your roomate’s parents, grandparents, etc. 3: http://xkcd.com/316/ (or replace with sound sample of choice)
Or you could just get some (more).

Dear Dr. Liu
What is your advice for people who are just now thinking about lofts? If you want to sexile your roommate, what about just moving them down to the lower level? How dangerous are lofted ‘activities’?
Thanks,
Sky-high

may2012_drliubedDear high,
While it’s definitely possible do the nasty in the top level without waking your co-inhabitants (depending on how light of a sleeper they are/how awesomely raucous your bonking may be), I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are comfortable with your roommate feigning sleep to listen in on your activities. And with relation to the dangers of lofts: if it’s creaking too much, don’t do it! (this would also apply in general situations, if you know what I mean…)

Write to Dr. Liu by sending a scan of your question via one of the campus printers to submit@franklyspeakingnews.com.