Smooth Moves

Walking through West Hall late at night, you’re likely to encounter a crew of satisfied patrons of FBE’s newest venture. You don’t even have to leave the privacy of your room to order up something sexy out of Smooth Moves’ diverse— and colorful— catalog. Whatever your tastes—light, sweet, rich, or saucy—Smooth Moves delivers. Literally.

I spoke with the group and their motivation was clear. “We saw a real need and we filled it…We wanted our FBE business to provide something that Olin currently lacks and, well…”* Their success can no doubt be attributed to this attitude and the team’s willingness to put in long hours.

“The work itself is fun,” One seemingly-happy employee told me. “It’s the clean-up that can be rough sometimes.” Another said, “It’s not a living exactly, but it isn’t a bad way to spend a few hours every night.”

Upon reflection, I can’t help but think that the success found by Smooth Moves is due to the unconventional and innovative teaching of the FBE’s instructor Leave Mold** “Something like this would never have been possible in Old FBE.” Leave said. “I’m always surprised and impressed by my students, and this team learned the first rule of business…” He winked conspiratorially. “Sex sells.”

Around the red-bathed glow of the Smooth Moves store front, Sting’s classic Roxanne plays. “How do you feel about working in the oldest profession?” I asked, watching the emails pile up with orders from hungry, lonely engineering students, trying to keep out of the way as employees head off to meet with waiting customers. One working girl answered with a shrug, “People have needs.”

How true.

*Absolutely 100% of quotes were completely made up.

**Any similarity to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental.